The February Air

There's something startlingly strange

About this- The February air

Which has grown bitter with age

And now fills me up with despair

The memories of the once inseparable you and me

Haunt me and chill me to the bone

Reminding me of how it used to be

When I was with you, never alone

There's something about the February air

That covers my sunny world in snow

Which breezes in nostalgia everywhere

Wherever it feels it must blow

This air endlessly blows and blows

Spreading and showering a cocktail

Of mixed feelings wherever it goes

Feelings fresh then, now turned stale

It deliberately whooshes past my ear

Abruptly and way too harshly, this wind

Making me re-live some fragments, I held dear

Of us together somewhere in my subconscious mind

There's something funny in this February air

And this moment that brings back that smile

Which I had buried deep somewhere

And had not smiled, since a while

The long bygone memoirs of past

Memories balmier than the first bud of may

Which somehow were not meant to last

Why? Why did it all had to end this way?

This luke warm February air

Of your February, aches my inside hollow

So much that it's getting hard to bear

It melts and makes these long frozen tears flow

They roll down my cheek and linger

Linger a little longer upon my jawline

Waiting for your affectionate finger

To wipe them, these drops so saline.

The February Sunshine

The warmth of the February sunshine

That shines in through my foggy window

Soothing this cold hand of mine

That writes about you endlessly, now

I wake up to the sound

Of a bedlam of chirruping

And sit outside in my garden, around

The thick foliage and a world sleeping

I love this, the blanket of serenity

That cuddles me up like you used to

Easing me and showering tranquility

Within my soul and body too

This chirruping never fails to remind (me)

Of the nights when we use to converse

Till the early morning birds, behind (you)

Started to sing the song of our love; Reverse

These times and let me hear those birds

Once again, that perched upon that tree

Singing love sonnets and crooning the three words

Across your room, opposite your balcony

This bright February sunshine

Lights up the dusty corners of this room

And I get a glimpse of thine

Sitting on the sofa in my drawing room

Exactly where you had sat, beside me

On your last 17th birthday

Exactly where I sit all alone now, you see

Because you ain't gonna return to this place anyway

This place that had once been saturated

By your heady aroma, especially where

You sat, which now of late has started

Smelling like me because now I sit there

The February sunshine's golden ray

Highlights the date earmarked on my calender

The 26th of February, your birthday

And with watery eyes I wonder

Its use now and its importance as a special day

Because there is no you, in my real world anymore

But in my virtual world, in my heart you stay

Holding the same importance and will, forevermore

So maybe on the 26th, that special day

I will simply whisper to myself without much show

A very happy birthday in my own way, truly and well

And when my heart misses a beat or two, I'll know

You heard them because it's there now, where you dwell.

The February sunshine throws

Its divine light on the unfulfilled promises

That you made to me and the vows

That I made, which now lie in ashes

The guilt deep inside my bosom

Shames me every second, of everyday

It harbors the bud of sin that will blossom (I know)

Into a much more sinful flower if kept this way

The early ray of February sunshine

Breaks the peach dawn to illuminate

The prism of a lost love, of yours and mine

Splitting the pent up emotions that radiate

Through its opposite surface in a rainbow hue

Had I ever known I would miss you so bad, Ishan

I swear to the heavens, I wouldn't have left you.

A Show

Hardships of life mow her down

Her once bright and blissful smile

Has now morphed into a distasteful frown

It has been a while

Ever since I saw her ecstatic

Like a zombie she roams about

Resembling nothing but a lunatic

A cacophony of voices in her head shout

Clueless and in a state of bafflement

She sits all locked up in her room, where

Most of her time is spent

Finding someone true to share

Her long kept lurking secrets

That are eating her up inside

Being beaten down by guilt pangs and regrets

Is in need of a friend to help her subside

This devastating prolonged pain

Someone who will never leave

But people change leaving such wishes in vain

She knows, she is not suppose to weave

The threads of wants and wishes together

But accept this, hard to believe reality-

Change is the law of life and things never

Work out; Because unexpected is the specialty

Of such a life, so pay no heed (to it)

Remove your rose tinted glasses

Look at the world with a naked eye; The need

Of the hour it is, to see through the faces

Of people whom you blindly did trust

Before they betray you, so go

Unveil their masks, discover what you must

That all you saw, believed till now, was but a show.

His hushed whisper

Tonight, I can't be with you

You are just so far away

My heart then red, is now turning blue

I wish, I wish you could stay

Close and yet closer to me

And love me that way, your way

My eyes are hazed and I can't see

Nothing tonight but your face

And these hands here, lie so lonely

Because your fingers filled the space

Right between mine so perfectly

I miss your scent

That now lingers on

Fading rapidly ever since you went

But I know it won't be long

Till I get to feel you again

To touch you and cherish the feeling

And soothe this separation pain

If you had been here, kneeling

I would have had leaned down to kiss you

But baby, you are away somewhere

And I lie awake missing you

Missing all that you whisper in my ear-

How you, in a hushed whisper say, "I love you."

And how that makes me miss a heat beat dear

Oh darling I so wish you were here!