The February Air

There's something startlingly strange

About this- The February air

Which has grown bitter with age

And now fills me up with despair

The memories of the once inseparable you and me

Haunt me and chill me to the bone

Reminding me of how it used to be

When I was with you, never alone

There's something about the February air

That covers my sunny world in snow

Which breezes in nostalgia everywhere

Wherever it feels it must blow

This air endlessly blows and blows

Spreading and showering a cocktail

Of mixed feelings wherever it goes

Feelings fresh then, now turned stale

It deliberately whooshes past my ear

Abruptly and way too harshly, this wind

Making me re-live some fragments, I held dear

Of us together somewhere in my subconscious mind

There's something funny in this February air

And this moment that brings back that smile

Which I had buried deep somewhere

And had not smiled, since a while

The long bygone memoirs of past

Memories balmier than the first bud of may

Which somehow were not meant to last

Why? Why did it all had to end this way?

This luke warm February air

Of your February, aches my inside hollow

So much that it's getting hard to bear

It melts and makes these long frozen tears flow

They roll down my cheek and linger

Linger a little longer upon my jawline

Waiting for your affectionate finger

To wipe them, these drops so saline.

The February Sunshine

The warmth of the February sunshine

That shines in through my foggy window

Soothing this cold hand of mine

That writes about you endlessly, now

I wake up to the sound

Of a bedlam of chirruping

And sit outside in my garden, around

The thick foliage and a world sleeping

I love this, the blanket of serenity

That cuddles me up like you used to

Easing me and showering tranquility

Within my soul and body too

This chirruping never fails to remind (me)

Of the nights when we use to converse

Till the early morning birds, behind (you)

Started to sing the song of our love; Reverse

These times and let me hear those birds

Once again, that perched upon that tree

Singing love sonnets and crooning the three words

Across your room, opposite your balcony

This bright February sunshine

Lights up the dusty corners of this room

And I get a glimpse of thine

Sitting on the sofa in my drawing room

Exactly where you had sat, beside me

On your last 17th birthday

Exactly where I sit all alone now, you see

Because you ain't gonna return to this place anyway

This place that had once been saturated

By your heady aroma, especially where

You sat, which now of late has started

Smelling like me because now I sit there

The February sunshine's golden ray

Highlights the date earmarked on my calender

The 26th of February, your birthday

And with watery eyes I wonder

Its use now and its importance as a special day

Because there is no you, in my real world anymore

But in my virtual world, in my heart you stay

Holding the same importance and will, forevermore

So maybe on the 26th, that special day

I will simply whisper to myself without much show

A very happy birthday in my own way, truly and well

And when my heart misses a beat or two, I'll know

You heard them because it's there now, where you dwell.

The February sunshine throws

Its divine light on the unfulfilled promises

That you made to me and the vows

That I made, which now lie in ashes

The guilt deep inside my bosom

Shames me every second, of everyday

It harbors the bud of sin that will blossom (I know)

Into a much more sinful flower if kept this way

The early ray of February sunshine

Breaks the peach dawn to illuminate

The prism of a lost love, of yours and mine

Splitting the pent up emotions that radiate

Through its opposite surface in a rainbow hue

Had I ever known I would miss you so bad, Ishan

I swear to the heavens, I wouldn't have left you.

A Show

Hardships of life mow her down

Her once bright and blissful smile

Has now morphed into a distasteful frown

It has been a while

Ever since I saw her ecstatic

Like a zombie she roams about

Resembling nothing but a lunatic

A cacophony of voices in her head shout

Clueless and in a state of bafflement

She sits all locked up in her room, where

Most of her time is spent

Finding someone true to share

Her long kept lurking secrets

That are eating her up inside

Being beaten down by guilt pangs and regrets

Is in need of a friend to help her subside

This devastating prolonged pain

Someone who will never leave

But people change leaving such wishes in vain

She knows, she is not suppose to weave

The threads of wants and wishes together

But accept this, hard to believe reality-

Change is the law of life and things never

Work out; Because unexpected is the specialty

Of such a life, so pay no heed (to it)

Remove your rose tinted glasses

Look at the world with a naked eye; The need

Of the hour it is, to see through the faces

Of people whom you blindly did trust

Before they betray you, so go

Unveil their masks, discover what you must

That all you saw, believed till now, was but a show.

His hushed whisper

Tonight, I can't be with you

You are just so far away

My heart then red, is now turning blue

I wish, I wish you could stay

Close and yet closer to me

And love me that way, your way

My eyes are hazed and I can't see

Nothing tonight but your face

And these hands here, lie so lonely

Because your fingers filled the space

Right between mine so perfectly

I miss your scent

That now lingers on

Fading rapidly ever since you went

But I know it won't be long

Till I get to feel you again

To touch you and cherish the feeling

And soothe this separation pain

If you had been here, kneeling

I would have had leaned down to kiss you

But baby, you are away somewhere

And I lie awake missing you

Missing all that you whisper in my ear-

How you, in a hushed whisper say, "I love you."

And how that makes me miss a heat beat dear

Oh darling I so wish you were here!

The child of the night

In the heart of the night

With shaky footsteps, I walked all alone

Upon the path that pearly moonlight

Had brightened on the cobblestone

Through the moorland and darkness peering

I tried to figure out my way

With frozen lips and a body fearing

I heard rustling of the leaves, of early may

My legs trembled and with a heart pounding

Scared; I let out a muffled cry

I stood still in an eerie surrounding

Hoping for a traveler to pass by

I heard nothing but the sound of nothingness

A prominent music of my own silence

And a sudden flutter that further silenced my silence

It was then, when, I lost my sense to sense

My eyes shot up tracing the sound

Whilst my feet froze, married to the ground

Oh! It was an owl, a child of the night

Which perhaps felt frightened of a loner like me

And if only it knew, my plight!

How its flight further blinded my sight

And drained my throat to the core

How my heart at once gave up

Waving a white flag, crying - No more!

My Guardian Angel :)

I always needed a faithful friend,

Like the ones we unearth in fairytales

Someone who will never pretend

Somebody who can keep it real, and not who fakes

Somebody who understands me completely

And is there for me, when I need someone to talk to

Who could share my pain when I cry my eyes out,

Who can lend his shoulder to cry on, throughout the night

The one who would comfort me,

Wiping my tears till the morning light

Someone who is always there

And can keep the secrets that I would share

The one who never fails to shows me

In a million ways, how much he cares

The one who makes me feel wanted

Who respects what we have

And will never take this friendship for granted

The one who is born once in a million

But such stuff is not real, is it I thought?

It exists in fables was the answer, so all this I forgot

And somehow survived through the daily ups and downs

During the good times and the bad, even when the life rebounds

For I knew I will have to, by hook or by crook, make it through

And the world thought I had it all

But I was waiting for that one in a million, for you

Yes you, who brought this fantasy, come alive

Who breathed this soul to life

Who taught me to live and not just survive

Who gave living a new facade, this life a new dimension

And now with you, with me, forever

Life rhymes like the best poetry ever

Everyday I try to find some way

To tell you, that you are my guardian angel

So how am I suppose to do this, when you already know

That you are my godly angel anyway?

And I know not- when, where and the manner

To conclude this verse, with a topic that goes on forever.

Come, Take my breath away-

It’s amazing how, with just one look

You begin to feel what I do

And it’s crazy the way you can decipher

The things I am thinking or would

And even before I nudge my lips

You come to know what I am about to say

No matter come what may

You never fail to show me the way

From the darkest nights to the morning ray

You are the sole reason for this blissfulness

I really love the way you make my day

With the little things that you do

And the heartening words that you say

But above all, you know exactly Sarvar

How to take my breath away!

Remember

Remember the very first day we met?

Before my classroom, yes i saw you, standing there

Under the scorching sun, in the summer air

I smiled at you, and you came nearer

You smiled right back and said, "Hello"

I never really expected and little did i know

That you would turn out to be my most beloved amigo.

Remember the first day we conversed?

When I had called you exactly a day before

To wish you, a very Happy Birthday

We giggled, talked and laughed some more

That very second i had this intuition

That you were not just any stranger, or a to be friend

But the one i had been searching for

And had finally found, in the end

Somehow the chemistry between us

Felt nothing less that perfect

We talked as if we knew each other since countless decades

Or like some long lost friends, for whom the friendship never fades.

Remember the first day i broke down while talking to you?

And how sensitively you soothed me through the blistering pain

You made me laugh through those tears glazed eyes

And comforted me till i forgot that culprit's name.

Remember the first time i hugged you?

Giving my feelings a final vent

I cherished that embrace till my heart's content

Your arms felt so gentle and protective to me

Just like an elder brother's do

Sarvar, I have had many buddies

And the best ones are only few

But if the truth be told, i have never felt something so strong

And immortal as I felt and still feel for you.

Symbiotic Love

You used to make my world go round

But now it’s only tumbling down

This distance maims my life each day

These memories I live on mar me

In every possible way

I was not the one to be blamed

And neither wrong were you

I don’t really know if it was something

I said, I did or I did not?

That made you retaliate this way

Every night I try to find a reason

That what went wrong?

My memory separates roses from its thorns

Yes that’s where I get roses and you

I never realized that at the end of the day

You were nothing but a thorn, a gruesome pain

I was a rose, did this make you so insecure

Disgrace on me for I called such a love, pure

You changed and expected me to remain unchanged

How could I love you when things weren’t the same?

Did not I give you the love I said I would?

I gave you much more than just love

I gave you myself my soul, everything

But these never seemed enough for you

I gave you my life but now I am just wasting away

You said you will love me till death and beyond

Were you living a lie then?

You shattered this soul and deserted my life

And now I am thanking you for you are the sole reason

For such a state of mine just like a hopeless being

I live on with these halves in my life

For the times I might have failed or hurt you deeply

I am not ashamed to apologize for it a billion times

But don’t spread the word on the street

That I never loved you it was a lie that I love someone else

Come on be a man face the reality

Tell them why my love for you faded

I loved you I missed you but now I’ll try to forget you

But never in this life will I forgive you

Anyways thank you very much for being a parasite in my life

For being such a sucker!

This symbiotic love is no longer my cup of tea.